By Arielle Landau
“The Social Climber’s Bible” is a beyond snarky guide to cozying up to rich benefactors and gutting them so gently they’ll never mind.
Not to be confused with “The Social Climber’s Guide to High School” or “The Social Climber’s Handbook” — who knew there were so many? — “The Social Climber’s Bible” is a tongue-and-cheek approach to wealth and status in America.
“Social climbers do not improvise on reality,” Dirk Wittenborn and Jazz Johnson advise readers in their how-to book. “Telling white lies that make other people feel good about themselves — because they don’t know the difference between fact and fiction. Social combers are simply realists; they take the world as it is and try to change it by improving their own position in it. Take comfort in the fact that the twenty-first century is the golden age of misinformation. One only has to listen to Fox News to know there is no such thing as hard fact. Besides, you are lying for a good cause — you.”
With the help of sharp, clean writing, this pocket guide will help you ditch your friends, push an “improved” version of yourself. It’s about faking it on Facebook, exploiting rich people’s vulnerabilities and navigating charity galas with ease. It’s about shamelessly inserting yourself where you don’t belong — and convincing everyone that you do.
It’s about ending up dead in a pool someday like Jay Gatsby.
OK, that last part isn’t true; but “The Social Climber’s Bible” is fun and quirky and meant for anyone will a dry sense of humor and a thirst for gin.
Originally published on NYDailyNews.com